1. If you find yourself in a field with an aggressive bull – it may be growling, staring, pawing the ground or tossing its head – get away immediately. Walk close to a wall or fence when crossing the field so that you can climb over it quickly.

2. Zip up any loose clothing. It’s the flapping of the matador’s cape that excites bulls (rather than it’s red colour, as widely believed) – and a scarf blowing in the wind will have the same effect.

3 .Don’t stand still or lie on the ground, especially if the bull has knocked you over, it’s unlikely to lose interest!

4. Throw your coat or bag behind you while you run away. This will distract the bull and lighten your load, helping you escape more quickly.

5. If the bull corners you, you’ll have no choice but to get aggressive. The most effective option is to tug on the ring in its nose, if it has one – but the odds won’t be stacked in your favour.

This was recently published in ‘The Week.’ I hope it makes you laugh as much as we did when Fiona very theatrically shared these gems of wisdom during the Lakes NW Trip. If it’s not funny – try reading again after a few glasses of wine!